Almost 3 years ago the Lord and I had a heart to heart, a deep conversation that I will never forget. We talked about my life and some changes that needed to occur. There was some sacrifice involved, as well as, things He was asking of me. I knew these changes were what I needed and ultimately what was best for me, but it was challenging. The shift involved renouncing things I held dear and taking up my cross and carrying it. God assured me He would be right alongside me. He also made a promise to me. It was a big promise, one I could only dream would be fulfilled. But I knew the Lord, and I understood that He holds true when He makes a promise.
So I agreed. I began doing what He asked of me and I did it well. I could see the prize so I kept my head up and in the game. I was overjoyed at the positive change I was able to see in myself as a result of the sacrifice. It spanned through many areas of my life. I was encouraged to carry on.
And then time passed, life became a little crazy, and I dropped the ball. I started to fall back into my old ways. The changes I had made stopped sticking. After some prayer and chats with my spiritual guide, I realized my motivation was wrong. I needed to make these changes because I desired better. I could not simply change because I felt I would receive something for my efforts. God wants what is best for me, He simply points me in the right direction so I can become who He created me to be.
So, I began again with a fresh outlook. I embraced the sacrifice instead of carrying it out begrudgingly. I could see the love of Our Father in what He was asking of me. It was a lifestyle change. It was a shift that needed to occur. I was feeling refreshed and renewed.
And then life happened. My house got a little nutty. My family was stretching and growing. I was up at night praying until my heart grew weary, asking Our Lord to protect them and guide us through the challenges. I would wake with a start and then quickly become consumed with anxiety. I became exhausted and depleted. And then CoVid hit.
My commitment to my sacrifice quickly began to fall apart again. I felt my everyday was a sacrifice. But the Lord, in His kindness and mercy, knew what was best for me and gently urged me to start anew.
So I began again, back where I was when the Lord and I talked, three years prior. I recommitted to what the Lord asked of me. With each restart He teaches me a new truth. Enforcing things I have learned, but moving them from my head to my heart. And this time it was about my trust, and His mercy, love, and faithfulness to promises made. My growth in these areas was integral.
When I looked at the Bible in light of my situation, I was reminded of all the fallen men and women who were followers of God, who waivered in their trust and their faithfulness to God and what He asked of them individually. However, God loved them, even in their brokenness. He gave them second and third chances, often even more. These fallen disciples include, Jacob, Rahab, David, Peter, and Abraham, our father in faith, just to name a few. God showed them all great mercy and love. He does the same for us. He loves us despite our fallen nature. In the midst of our brokenness, God is merciful and draws us nearer to Himself.
He asks us to choose Him again and again. Even when we tend to throw in the towel, he does not give up on us. So, when I begin to beat myself up for falling away and choosing what I know is not the best choice, I maintain hope. Hope in His promises and love.
His promise to me, yet unfulfilled, is a promise I am confident He will keep. He is a Lord of mercy, mercy for our fallen nature. He is a Lord of love, love for all his sinful children. He is a Lord of faithfulness, faithful to all He says and promises. In this I can trust, in God I can trust.
His mercy, love, and faithfulness is proclaimed again and again at holy mass. “Amen,” we declare as we accept the cup at holy Mass. With these words and this action we are confirming that we allow God the authority to make choices and decisions for us. We grant Him the reins and our trust. We remind ourselves of this each time we receive His Blood, His cup of Life and Salvation. We allow Him to lift us up and draw us nearer to Him, the One who loves us and who would inflict us no harm.
God guides us to make decisions that are pleasing to Him. He is our maker and our Creator, and He knows how we will best serve Him. We must trust in Him and know that even when we falter, He is there, waiting for us to come back to Him. Like Abraham and so many others throughout history, we must begin again, trusting in God’s great mercy, love, and faithfulness.
“The Lord’s acts of mercy indeed do not end, For His compassions do not fail. They are new every morning; Great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore, I wait for Him.”-Lamentations 3:22-24
Call To Act: Where is He asking you to give or sacrifice? What area of your life do you need to trust in His mercy and love? Where is He calling you to begin again? Where is He asking you to restore your hope in Him? Make some time to sit with these questions and allow Our Lord to your heart.
St. Bridget of Sweden, pray for us that we may heed God’s callings in our lives. Ask Our Lord to give us the courage to sacrifice that which is most difficult, trusting in Him. Beg Him to help us as we fall again and again, instilling persistence, stamina, and zeal for His will in our hearts. Pray that we can accept his mercy and unconditional love for us, His children. We ask for faithfulness to Our Heavenly Father in all that we do. We ask this through Christ, Our Lord. Amen.
St. Bridget of Sweden
Saint Bridget was born to a pious family in Sweden in the early fourteenth century. She was one of three children. Her mother, who was a relative of Sweden’s royalty, died when Bridget was ten. Married in her early teens to a man whom she loved, they had eight children. One was later canonized as St. Catherine of Sweden. Bridget served as a lady in waiting for many years. Her husband died when she was just over forty. Although she was sad, St. Bridget was more than willing to follow the Lord’s will for her life. From a young age, she had dreams about Christ, as well as, a multitude of visions from Our Lord. This is how God called her to begin work to start a new religious order, the Bridgettines, as well as, take action to return the papacy to Rome. Bridget immediately set out to do as the Lord asked, yet she was unable to finish either before her death in 1373. All the fruits of her labor came after her death, with the pope returning to Rome and her order flourishing on several continents. Read more about her here: https://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=264