Just over a year ago, I was beside myself, over my head, attempting to finish preparing my humble abode for a women’s night I had planned. I was running around delegating jobs, ordering children, pushing past everyone, trying to quickly complete the multitude of tasks that lay before me. ‘How in the world am I going it get it all done?’ my mind had screamed.
I had felt unquestionably called to orchestrate this night to bring moms together from all my friend groups. This time we were going to join together and hang out, despite the variegation of the crowd. Tasks that normally would have been finished early in the week still lay before me, daunting and overwhelming. I had some relationship mending that sprung up and needed my attention mid-week, which really threw this planning girl for a loop. No food was prepared, my floors were sticky and the moms were due to arrive in 90 minutes! I needed to throw myself together and get these party nuisances completed.
I rushed around outside with some half dead plants in my hands, attempting to hide them on the side of the house. I looked up to see my neighbor and lawn care guy riding toward me on his zero turn. ‘Hummm, I wonder what he needs?’ I questioned. I thought he had already mowed. He smiled and took off his headphones. ‘Oh no,’ I worried, ‘He wants to chat… I don’t have time to lollygag right now!’ I threw on a smile and walked toward him. ‘Hey,’ I said, ‘How’s it going?’ now assuming he wanted me to even up on my bill.
He smiled and replied in the most friendly, helpful voice, ‘So what would you like done around here?’
‘What?’ I wondered. I was taken back. He had never asked this before. All summer he had mowed and generally took care of things without asking for specifics from me. ‘The usual,’ I murmured, confused and still trying to take in the request, now thinking I didn’t want to burden him with my back breaking weed-eating and obscure push mowing. I had days before given up all hopes of a perfect outdoor appearance for this party. I was focused on essentials, like food!
‘Do you want the tall stuff mowed down where the straw is, where you are growing new grass?’ he inquired.
‘What?’ I thought again. For the duration of the summer we had been attempting to grow grass from a fix it project in the backyard and all summer we had sported straw strips and tall spotty half-grown grass. ‘Today you want to mow it down?’ I queried, all in my head of course, baffled. ‘Okay,’ I managed to sputter out. And then he took over. He mowed down and weed-ate every long blade of grass in my entire yard. My neighbor whipped out the blower and blew off the deck, driveway and front porch, caring for areas long forgotten by us.
He was on a mission. A mission from God I decided. An answer to a prayer. A weeklong prayer of your will be done, not mine. I had prayed as Jesus did in Luke 22:42, “saying, Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still, not my will but yours be done.” I had continually professed to God that I had no idea how I was going to get it all done, a common problem, right?!? However, in this case, I had also assured Our Lord that I trusted Him. God and I both knew I had needed to be present to a few key people in my life during the week, hence my lost prep time. But, I had trusted and God had provided. In abundance at that…and it wasn’t the first time!
A few years earlier when we were in the middle of a move into our current home, I was at my wits end. (See the theme here, me being out of control and overwhelmed, a state I constantly attempt to avoid unsuccessfully.) I had been trying desperately to maintain a balance in my life while attempting to get our new home ready for move in. The house was dated and in need of a little love before we made the final move. We had been staying at my grandmother’s old house in the interim, six people in a cape cod with one working bathroom. It was a little much, but my kids enjoyed the freedom on the family farm. I had spent the week attempting to secure a painter to help me cover the abused walls in our new home in color with a reasonable deadline, which I had suddenly realized was unreasonable. I was frazzled and wondered day and night how in the world I going to paint the house alone, with an infant and two homeschooled children in tow, in two weeks before the flooring guys needed to begin work!
I was teary and edgy. I was throwing it back to the Lord because He had told me clearly to make this move and I was trusting Him despite the crazy. But it seemed I was going to go crazy before it all was under control and completed. Meanwhile, my daughter was having major meltdowns from the stress of the move, so severe that we landed in counseling weekly to attempt to manage day to day. All the changes were bringing back upsetting memories of moving as a small child for her. Again I prayed, “not my will, but yours be done.” And my husband, God love him, relishing the temporary financial freedom as a result of the minimalist living, was failing to see how I was overwhelmed.
Looking back, I am confident that I was mere hours from the mental hospital, and I am not a breakdown kind of girl. It was too much to balance and manage all at once. I woke one morning and was feeding the baby in the small kitchen. My husband had just abruptly left with my daughter for school. My daughter had been mid-meltdown and angry at me because I was in her path, and now there was a knock at my door. ‘Who in the world?,’ I thought. I walked over to peer out the small window on the door. I could not have been more shocked to see my dad. He had a smile on his face from ear to ear. I immediately opened the door curious yet stumped.
‘I was thinking,’ he spoke, ‘about your painting dilemma. And I think I have just the guy for the job. He paints for me and would love the extra money. He could ride the bus up to the mall but you would have to go pick him up each day. Do you think that might work? He is super cheap and does a great job. What do you think?’
‘What do I think? What do I think?’ my mind had raced as I held myself back from loudly cheering, ‘I think God sent you to me right in this moment to deliver me from all this stress and hardship. He sent you!’ I was so grateful. My heart was warmed and glowed. I grasped that my dad had been sent by nonother than God.
My dad had not knocked on my door in the two months I had lived there and had never knocked on the door like that at my old house. This was totally unlike him, completely out of character. Do not get me wrong, my dad is an extremely helpful and thoughtful man, but he does not spontaneously arrive unannounced. I was relieved and extremely grateful. I immediately thanked Our Lord and expressed my appreciativeness to my dad for listening and answering what he did not even know to be a call from God.
In both of these stories of abundance and service, these men are not men of faith. They do not converse with our Lord. They are not regular church goers. And as far as I know, they do not make it a practice to reflect on what God is asking of them. But Our Lord used them. He used them to serve Him in the world. Our Father employed them to answer my plea, a plea for mercy and help.
God validated that trust is fruitful and He is faithful to those who trust in Him, even with worldly things, items that seem so far from His eye, longings important to us. We are valued by Him. Our Lord loves us because we are His children, therefore, He longs to meet our needs. And that He did, through my neighbor and dad. He sent them to my door and to my feet, and allowed them to serve me in my time of need.
I trusted in God in the most difficult of times, times that I wanted control but knew that Our Lord needed authority. I turned it over to Him and I was blessed. God blessed my trust with an abundance, with fruits I could have never imagined, through men who are essentially strangers to His love.
Call to Act: Where is Our Lord asking you to trust and rely on Him, not your own resources? Where is God stretching you this week? Are you allowing the growth or are you fighting it? Turn it over to Him and allow God to answer you in the way He sees fit. Pray ‘Not my will, Thy will be done, Lord.” You will be staggered at how He rewards your trust in Him. Our Lord knows best, after all, He is the Heavenly Father of us all!
I encourage you sister to push past your comfort zone and trust especially when life seems to be getting the best of you. Hand it over to God. Trust in Him. He will provide.
Blessed John Macias, pray for us. Ask our Lord to bestow trust upon us and lead us ever nearer to Him, the One who loves us more than all others. Beg Him to help us turn to Him in all of our trials, giving Him all of our days. We beseech your intercession on our behalf so that we may have courage and trust as you did when you were tempted and attacked by demons as you answered Our Lord’s call. Please thank Him in advance for His abundance and love. We ask this through Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Redeemer. Jesus, I trust in You. Amen.
Blessed John Macias
John was an orphan from the time he was very small. He grew up in Spain, raised by an uncle who gave him the job of herding his sheep. Blessed John constantly spent time in prayer and communicated with numerous saints. As he sought out the path for his life, he was clearly pointed in the direction of a small pious order in Lima at the convent of St. Mary Magdalen. Devils attacked him for many years as he lived out this call. John was ordained a laybrother and worked in the gatehouse, serving both the poor and rich. He was known for his great trust when seeking alms and his crafty way of convincing the rich to give alms by way of a lone burro. Blessed John’s holiness was made known as rays of light would shine forth from him as he instructed the poor in their catechism. He also seemed to know when others needed God’s aid in the form of a miracle worked through his trusting hands. He lived his life with his eyes fixed on Our Lord and His will, serving many in the world, as the Lord asked. It is said that at his death many saints came to escort him as he made his way to heaven. Read more about him here:
http://dominicains.ca/figures-dominicaines/saint-jean-macias/?lang=en
Climbing for the first time last summer at Custer State Park, SD, with my son. Yes, that’s me on my way up!! Talk about trust! There were an immeasurable amount of prayers uttered that day!
