A few weeks ago, my husband and I were fortunate enough to go on Alaskan Cruise. His employer arranged and planned most aspects of the trip, with the trip’s goal to entertain customers and build relationships. In the weeks before we left for the trip, as we planned excursions and viewed our itinerary, my husband informed me that we would be spending a great deal of time with one of his customers and his wife. I will call them the Garfields. This Southern accent-bearing couple intended to tag along with our plans. Not knowing this couple and envisioning that we would be spending the greater part of eight days together made my stomach turn. The uncertainty left me uneasy. For weeks I fretted about the unknown destiny of this trip and our time with the Garfields.
As the day to depart neared, my anxiety about our time with this couple increased. Vacationing with anyone can be tiresome and in this case, I was not even certain who these people were! Worst case scenarios plagued my mind. I was convinced our trip would be disastrous and exhausting!
Much to my surprise, my worry was all for naught! I am happy to report that I enjoyed every minute of our Alaskan adventure. As we traveled through airports and spent the greater part of each day together on the cruise in a variety of activities, I quickly observed the Garfields’ ability to be real. Immediately, it was evident that this couple was genuine. We quickly became like old friends laughing until our faces hurt as the coffee, adult beverages, and ice cream flowed.
Our enjoyment remained and we did not tire of each other even after a week on a ship and trekking along the shores of Alaska. The sweetness that passed between them was inspiring. There was a gentleness about them, as well as a playfulness and comfort, like an old worn sweater.
As we spent our days and nights together, my husband and I uncovered that the Garfields had known each other since high school and had been through some significant ups and downs. They experienced and embraced life, every part of it, together, growing in their relationship as they aged. It appeared they were inseparable. They relied on each other with full trust that the other would not miss a beat and would provide.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.
This sweet Southern couple loves as 1 Corinthians describes, with abandon, sticking by each other despite the curve balls of life. They are devoted and love simply, completely, and deeply, holding nothing back. Concern for each other’s needs is at the forefront. They give witness to the marriage vows of honoring, loving, and respecting each other all the days of their lives in their every action.
The love that inebriates this couple’s relationship is infiltrating. After a spending a short week with them, my heart softened and I was inspired to live more gently and with a greater charity, embracing the crosses and blessings of my marriage. The unity they shared in our time together, as well as, the beauty of their sweet Southern love left me feeling overwhelmingly blessed by our time and experiences. Seeking to love more deeply, to rise to serve and to care for my husband are small fruits of our time together. 1 Peter 4:8 instructs us, “Above all, let your love for one another be intense, because love covers a multitude of sins.”
Their marriage, though it has been over 25 years since they professed their vows, is fresh and unique because they make the choice to love every day. It seems to be in all the simple, small things that their care for each other is most evident. The Garfields consistently choose to keep each other first and do not allow other people or situations to become divisive in their relationship. Mark 10: 9, “Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate.” Love is a choice. The Garfields choose love.
“Your every act should be done with love.” 1 Corinthians 16:14.
Call to Act: How do you choose to love your spouse each day? Where could you stand to improve and love a little deeper? Are there aspects of your spouse or marriage that trouble you? How can you choose to love your spouse more completely in these situations? What is uniquely beautiful about your spouse and your marriage?
St. Anne and St. Jocachim pray for us as we witness to Christ’s love in our marriages. Ask the Lord to allow us to be conduits of His love for our spouses. Pray that our deep love and genuine care for our spouses resonant with our children infusing their hearts with a passion to love ever more deeply. Beg Our Lord to allow us to show infinite mercy and compassion for the one we are wed to in this world. Beseech Him to allow us to see past faults into the beauty of our beloved. We ask this through Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Redeemer. Amen.
Saints Anne and Joachim
St. Anne and St. Joachim are the parents of the Virgin Mary, the Mother of Jesus, thus making them the grandparents of Jesus. Little is known for certain about the couple, yet there is some outside documentation about them. According to the Protoevangelium of James, Joachim, as a member of the tribes of Israel, was deeply upset at his childlessness with Anne. They turned to fasting and prayer. The Lord offered consolation by sending an angel to Anne to inform her that she would conceive, and her child would be talked about in all the world. After giving birth to Mary, Anne “made a sanctuary” in the baby’s room and Joachim “made a great feast” and took Mary to the priests to be blessed. The protoevangelium goes on to explain that Anne, Joachim, and the temple priests discerned that Mary should marry Joseph and remain a virgin her entire life. Though we know little about this holy couple, we can see strong desires to live lives pleasing to the Lord, working to serve and glorify Him in all they did, thus sanctifying themselves. Read more about St. Anne and St. Joachim here: https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/saint/sts-anne-and-joachim-313
Favorite Marriage Resources:
Prayers:
30 Days Husband Encouragement Challenge for Wives, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, www.ReviveOurHearts.com (A 30-day challenge including a different bible verse plus a short challenge for each day concerning mindfulness and encouragement of your husband. A beautiful tool to get to a better headspace regarding your marriage and husband.)
Books:
Be Devoted, Dr. Bob Schuchts
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, John Gottman
The Exceptional Seven Percent: The Nine Secrets of the Happiest Couples, Gregory K. Popcak
Just Married: The Catholic Guide to Surviving and Thriving in the First Five Years of Marriage, Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcak (Don’t let the title fool you, it’s a helpful tool regardless of how long you have been married.)
Good News about Sex & Marriage: Answers to Your Honest Questions about Catholic Teaching, Christopher West
Podcasts:
The Messy Family: Pursuing Your Spouse: Episode 117, September 10, 2019
(They have a variety of topics and produce humorous, fruitful podcasts)
Restore the Glory: Unity in Marriage Series: Parts 1-5, Episodes 27-31, April 14, 2021-June 9, 2021
(Dr. Bob Schuchts and Jake Khym are Catholic phycologists who cover a variety of topics related to marriage and relationships, encouraging healing and restoration. They offer many different series.)