Last month I spent some time away with one of my dear friends. As were we talking, hashing out life, she shared a life struggle she was having with a family member as the holiday season approached. There was a great disparity between this family member’s expectations and desires and my friend’s. Add in the rude undertone projected from the family member and she had a recipe for family holiday drama. At the end of her story, I lightly observed, “You just need to set good boundaries. I have had experiences like that in the past and boundaries are always the place to start.”
We continued to talk, sorting through the details of boundaries she already had in place and what this would look like for the holiday. Then, I made a comment that I thought would sound like clanging gongs to her. “You should pray for her. I know you already do that, but you should say extra prayers.” “Of course, I should!” she said with an annoyed tone to her voice. My friend was not upset with me, she was irked that she had not thought of this before. This sweet faith-filled woman had not been pointedly praying for this troublesome relationship, nor for this annoying family member. It was such a basic action, but so very important. Unfortunately, she had overlooked it. As we wrapped up our discussion, she chuckled and added, “It’s as easy as #haveboundaries&prayforher. I am going to write that down when I get home. It is so simple.”
What I thought would be a reiteration of action she was already taking, ended up being the very enlightenment and direction my friend needed. This interaction made me think of the times when I need to remember this very same advice. The times when I want so much to remedy a situation myself or make an action plan to solve some dilemma, when I simply need to set good boundaries with the person I am troubled by and pray for them wholeheartedly.
David shares his own cries for help in the Psalms. “Hear my words, O Lord; listen to my sighing. Hear my cry for help, my king, my God! To you I pray, O Lord; at dawn you will hear my cry; at dawn I will plead before you and wait.” Psalm 5:2-4 David knew to take his troubles to the Lord.
I find the Lord plunks people in my path for a variety of reasons. Some are for me to guide, some are for my guidance, some are to serve with my hands, and some are to serve with my prayers. Often, it is the sitting on my hands, resisting action, that is hardest. I am a go girl. I am ready to serve, but man, when the Lord says, “Stop, be still, and pray,” that is tough for me. He presents me with an opportunity to serve Him and build virtue.
I want to leap into action, when really what the Lord is asking of me is silent devotion to Him. Folding my hands and looking toward heaven can ask more of me than leaping to serve in the front lines. And often, simply praying serves the person in need more effectively than my outreach. There are two women that the Lord has placed in my life recently, that I can see very clearly are in need, yet Our All-knowing Lord has made it abundantly clear to me that I am to pray for them and reserve the active serving for another. “…pray for one another, that you may be healed. The fervent prayer of a righteous person is very powerful.” James 5: 16. These women struggle with boundaries and would simply not benefit most from me serving them. My prayers can lift them higher than my hands.
One of my friend’s kiddos, Mo Ghering, says it best, “Prayers are more effective than wishes.” Sweet young Mo speaks to the evident power of prayer. Wishes are what we hope for, or resolve would best serve ourselves or another. However, when we turn troubles over to Our Lord, He can best determine the solution and majestically meet the need far better than we humans could ever imagine.
Call To Act: I encourage you, sister, to drop to your knees in prayer for that person who most pangs your heart. Ring out a prayer to Our Heavenly Father, beseeching Him to rush to aid your friend or enemy as He sees fit. Ask Him to tie your hands until the time is right to actively serve. Take some time to discern if the Lord is asking you to pray daily for this person in a ‘big’ way. Is He asking you to fast for them, pray a daily rosary, pray a certain prayer daily, go to mass, or even start an anonymous prayer chain for their intentions?
A simple post-it reminder on your prayer book, bathroom mirror, or console in your car could help to bring your mind back to that person’s need for prayer through the day. One friend of mine sets a daily reminder on her phone to ‘alert’ her to remember to offer up prayers for her special intention. Wherever the Lord is calling you, remember, prayer is powerful. Do not allow yourself to dismiss its lasting and dynamic impact.
“God shapes the world by prayer. Prayers are deathless. The lips that uttered them may be closed in death, the heart that felt them may have ceased to beat, but the prayers live before God, and God’s heart is set on them. Prayers outlive the lives of those who uttered them; outlive as generation, outlive an age, outlive a world.” -E. M. Bounds, Complete Works.
St. Rose Duchesne, pray for us, that we might recognize our need to pray for the one we wish to serve. Ask the Lord to give us perseverance in our prayer and confidence that He will harness the power of our prayer to best serve the one whose needs plague us. Beg him to give us patience as our hands rush to serve. Ask Him to place the peace that only He can offer in our hearts as we are still, waiting for the Lord, praying for the person in need. St. Rose help us to comprehend that often our plan is not the Lord’s and the good we desire through our service needs to wait. Prayer is often what the Lord asks of us, just as He asked of you throughout your life. Pray that we recall that our prayers serve and ultimately, our prayers suffice. We ask this through Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.
Saint Rose Philippine Duchesne
St. Rose was born in Grenoble France in the late 1700s. She spent her childhood being educated in a convent and became a novice when she was 18 years old. Due to war, she went back to her family, serving the suffering and prisoners. After the war, she was received into the Society of the Sacred Heart of Jesus where she served in France, though she always had a desire in her heart to bring Jesus to the American Indians in New World through missions. Her missionary heart had to wait until 1818 to go to Louisiana and Missouri to open the first house of the Society outside of France and begin free schools for women. She assisted in opening many houses in the United States, yet her heart longed to serve the Indians. Finally at the age of 72, she was asked to travel to Kansas to assist with a new school for the Potawatomi. They needed her prayer to support their success. According to the Vatican, “the Jesuit head of the mission insisted, “She must come; she may not be able to do much work, but she will assure success to the mission by praying for us. Her very presence will draw down all manner of heavenly favors on the work”. She was with the Potawatomi but a year; however, her pioneer courage did not weaken, and her long hours of contemplation impelled the Indians to name her, Quah-kah-ka-num-ad, “Woman-Who-Prays-Always”.” The power of prayer was made known to the Indians. St. Rose returned to Missouri with her missionary heart happy and her body exhausted. She died at the age of 83, having served Our Lord well. Learn more about her here: https://www.vatican.va/news_services/liturgy/saints/ns_lit_doc_19880703_duchesne_en.html