I felt like I was drowning today. Drowning in the reality of my life. This morning I was careful to carve out time so I could run, knowing that so often this is what brings me to a more balanced state. Still, I found myself overwhelmed with sadness and frustration. I knew I needed to seek Our Lord and the Saints, examples to lift me up. But, I was worn. I was beginning to despair, but managed to pull my self to my knees to pray. I felt the need for girlfriend time but struck out. As I cried and prayed, I begged Him to help and sought His consolation.
In the middle of my forlornness, I felt a tug to write a text to a friend struggling both with her mother’s terminal illness and her inability to find balance for herself. I knew she needed to find it in herself to let go and allow the world swirl around her. I reassuringly typed, “It is so hard to help those you love who are sick and feel justified in carving out time for yourself too. It is important, but it gets lost in the desperate attempts to lift up and serve those you love so dearly. When we don’t reach out for help for ourselves, we get lost and begin to feel as we are drowning. I can only imagine that is where you are right now. Please know we are here if there is anything we can do to help. Lifting you and your family up in prayer. I love you even in the brokenness that is reality. Love is always there, you live that out so well.” After I hit send, I reread the text checking for any unintended typos or wild auto-corrects.
As I scanned I realized I had written it for myself! Well, the Lord wrote through me, divinely inspiring my text, to offer me consolation like no other. He let me know that I needed to reach out to those who surround me for aid. He encouraged me to choose to do something for myself, despite my current circumstances.
Today, He provided me, as well as my dear friend, comfort through a text. We both needed that little reassurance that He is always there and an uplifting, reminder of His love. His love is present in the world. However, I must not simply call out. I need to respond and do as He asks of me, even when that means letting go and asking others for support and help. My friend needed this same gentle reminder.
A new realization overwhelms me. I used to run away from my brokenness and Him, Our Lord. Today I turn to Him, my Heavenly Father. Sweet progress for a woman who is shockingly independent and once believed herself to be self-sufficient! It is quite the journey!
My brokenness and others fractured state is a fact of existence. We love each other even in that state of reality. We embrace in the ugliness and through our hurts. That is love lived to the fullest!
Call to Act: Where do you need to let go and seek Our Lord? What friends might be excited to support and love you in this moment of need? I encourage you to pursue those nudges, allow Him to offer you consolation through those lovely ladies He has so generously placed in your life. Allow them to assist you in your time of need, just as you would embrace sustaining them through a tough moment. Lean on them and open your heart to their love, sister.
He sent us to love each other. The Bible tells us so… John 15:11-14 declares, “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete. This is my commandment: love one another as I love you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.” Be that friend, girl, love, but equally important allow yourself to be loved.
St. Augustine, pray for us, that the Lord may lift us up with with the love and support of faithful friends. Pray that we may learn to reach out to others for aid in our darkest times, allowing others to raise us to new heights through their love and encouragement. Ask Him to open our hearts to His ways and His love. We ask this through Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Redeemer. Amen.
Saint Augustine of Hippo
St. Augustine was a wild youth. He was born into a wealthy family, living a fairly easy life. He was always well liked by those who met him and was the life of the party. He began to take his partying too far and led an increasingly sinful life, fathering one son out of wedlock. His mother, Saint Monica was very concerned about him and his life choices. She prayed fervently for him, going to great lengths in an attempt to stop him. St. Augustine eventually met St. Ambrose on a trip to Milan. They became great friends and Augustine converted to Christianity at the age of 33. He quickly became a priest and then bishop. He is well known for his written work Confessions. Read more about him here.
https://www.augustinian.org/saint-augustine
https://www.franciscanmedia.org/saint-augustine-of-hippo/