A few years ago I was about to hit a breaking point. My youngest was almost a year old and my mental health was less than par. A friend gently informed me I needed to take action. I deliberated, ‘How could I take care of myself when the needs of my family alone seemed to overwhelm me? However,” I mused, “If I was frazzled and unhealthy could I possibly effectively care for my family?’ I contemplated and then I made a decision that would change the course of my health. I determined it was critical to find time to meet my needs to enable myself to evolve into the wife, mother, sister, and woman that I desired to be.
As I considered where I should begin, I was struck with the memory of receiving a God nudge a few months earlier from a nurse who had cared for my ill child. She had recommended a holistic approach for my daughter with a licensed MD who had struck a balance in holistic care and traditional medicine. The nurse had mentioned it for my daughter but I knew it was an answer to my prayer for direction for my own wellness path. Now was the time! I did a little research, made the call, and scheduled the initial appointment.
Easy it was not. The initial appointments took considerable amounts of time and serious finagling of schedules to make possible. The progress was slow, but I recognized the new healthier road I was on and the long term benefits. Every time I would go into the office I would take in the signage on the wall, asking me to recognize the emotional state I was in. Was exhilarated, wired and tired, or exhausted and inflamed the bright chart implored?(Amoils, Steve, M.D., & Amoils, Sandy, M.D. (2011) Get Well & Stay Well.) And each time for months I was wired and tired.
My eyes were opened to the distressing fact that I was an overwhelmed state almost 100% of the time. “How did I make it this long without proper support? How long would it take to get out of this unhealthy state?,” I questioned myself. I honestly had no idea!
As time went on, my health improved noticeably. My husband noticed a significant change after only six weeks. The benefit to my marriage and family far outweighed the time and energy I had spent to get to those appointments. I was so much happier and healthier. Putting some time in my schedule to care for me was exactly what the Lord was asking me to do. He knew exactly what I needed and met me where I was. The new balance was beautiful!
How many times do we hear stories like this and think, “Sure, she has support, money, time, energy, health, etc. to seek help. If she were in my shoes she would not have been able to do accomplish wellness.” Well, I am here to tell you sister, you must. You can. You should. I was in a fragile state when I took the first steps. I had patchy support and fluctuating energy to orchestrate the overwhelming process.
Let me encourage you to reach out, both to our Lord in prayer and to friends. Seek the assistance you need. Get creative. Help yourself. Meet your basic needs, however miniscule they seem. Care for yourself. Push the guilty feeling away. Take the first step.
As mothers, wives, women, and as friends, we become so focused on serving others that we negate selfcare and neglect to block off the time in our day that we require. I have been there and can tell you that taking time for you is not a sin. It is a healthy habit and absolutely necessary for the health of our bodies, minds, and souls. When the balance of our lives is off and our bodies are not properly cared for we cannot possibly carry out the Kingdom work the Lord has called us to.
Our bodies are temples of the Lord. He lives in us and through us. Do not let His temple fall into disrepair and become so broken it cannot function properly. Our bodily and mental health as well as the sanctity of our souls are intertwined. Body, mind, and spirit all need our attention and care. Neglecting one leads to failure in other areas.
Call to Act: Take a look at your life. Ask yourself, or even close friends and your husband, where you are struggling. Start to be mindful of when you lose your cool. Introspect, what are you neglecting when this occurs? Begin by querying:
-Do you regularly get time alone?
-Do you exercise regularly?
-Do you make time to pray each day, ideally morning, noon , and night?
-Do you regularly partake in the sacraments? Which one do you need to increase, if any?
-Does your body feel healthy and systems functions correctly?
-Do you get the right amount of sleep each night? If not, do you allow yourself time for a nap or rest?
-Do you engage in adult conversation regularly?
-Do you eat a balanced diet and have healthy foods on hand?
-Is there an unhealthy relationship that is weighing you down? Do you need to set stronger boundaries here?
-How is your mental health? Do you need to seek a professional to help you get this area balanced?
Which of these concerns effects other areas? What is the area you feel needs to be addressed first? What is the first step you need to take to get your wellness headed in a healthier direction?
Tell a sister your plan. Share your concerns and ask for support so you can propel yourself forward. You can do this. I am confident you have what it takes to improve your life. I am praying for you sister. Balancing it all is a challenge but here is your opportunity to grow and learn.
Ask the Lord to show you your resources and send the aid you need. He will provide. We are reminded of His desire to care for each of His beloved children in Psalm 34:18-20. “When the just cry out the Lord hears and rescues them from all distress. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, saves those whose spirit is crushed. Many are the troubles of the just, but the Lord delivers them from all.”
Saint Dymphna, pray for us. Ask our Lord to lift us up in body, mind, and spirit and provide us with the resources we need to help improve our wellness. Beg Him to have mercy on us, lifting our crosses enough that we can muster the energy to secure aid. Beseech Him that He will make evident the basic needs we neglect to meet for ourselves, so we are able to address these areas. Take these needs to Our Heavenly Father so He might rush to our aid. We ask this through Christ, Our Lord, Amen.
St. Dymphna
Saint Dymphna was born in Ireland in the seventh century. She took a vow of chastity and consecrated herself to God when Dymphna was only fourteen. Then, after her devout mother died, St. Dymphna’s mentally unstable father tried to convince her to marry him. When she refused, fled, and was discovered Dymphna was killed by her father. She was merely fifteen years old. Over the years, many have been healed as a result of her intercession. The impressive Church of St. Dymphna was built over the location of her original burial, where travelers still visit today. Read more about St. Dymphna here:
https://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=222
Hiking in Colorado Springs, CO. Breathing in the beauty of the world.