The summer flew by and school was a few days away. In all the warm summer excitement and fun my Ethiopian American daughter and I realized we had neglected her braids. We had a job ahead of us! The tangled mess of hair was daunting, but we knew it needed to be undertaken. My daughter and I procrastinated a little, trying at first to tackle a little at a time, pulling it up in between, attempting to hide the mess we had created by not completing the job. And then, school loomed near, too near, like a day away near! We knew we had to dive in and tackle the tangle.
So we did. My girls and I dedicated half a day to unbraiding, detangling, conditioning, combing, shampooing, deep conditioning, and a final comb through. Then, the fun part came, the braids, the adornment, and the transformation of the clean beautiful hair into an artistic masterpiece. I braided and created. We had a blast with the design. Coming up with new styles, creatively tucking it up, and adding unique twists is our favorite part.
When the hair updo was finished there was no evidence of the mess that had been, simply our memory that we had let it go too far. In the end, it was worth the battle, the tears, and the time. We needed to pay closer attention, even in our leisure and fun, to necessary things, like her hair. We learned from our mistake. When we neglect tasks, when we ignore the essential, it requires tremendous effort to correct and beautify again.
Isn’t confession like this for us? Confession like messy hair you say?!?! Yes, allow me to clarify. Our souls become full of gunk that gets in from everyday life. Sin mucks up our soul and makes it taxing to tweeze apart the sin in our lives and make heads or tails of it all. All the little things, seemingly unnoticed, build up and create an unruly mess. A wreck worth tackling, but an overwhelming plight at times. Neglecting confession of your sins and thereby ignoring your twisted up, mucked up soul, full of all the yuck and build-up of sin and omission, is so easy to overlook and push off to tackle later.
Where to begin? Confession is the way to ultimately cleanse our soul and wash the sin away, but it is daunting. Examining our consciences, tweezing it all apart and admitting we let it go too long, is crucial. “Forgive me Father for I have sinned, it has been weeks, months, or even years since my last confession.” Those words are so intimidating, but so necessary. It’s the path we must take to start fresh and renew our souls.
We are fortunate to have this beautiful gift as Catholics to allow Christ to purge us of all our sins each time we turn to Him in the confessional. Through our priests, the sin is forgiven, totally, utterly, mercifully washed away and the life of our soul, our grace, is renewed. We start fresh with a detangled, conditioned, shampooed, deep conditioned, combed out soul. And then we work to beautify it and adorn it by giving glory to our Father in heaven by sharing its renewed and abundant mercy, love, and joy.
The world notices and comments on our glow and we point to Our Father, the one who removed the ‘gunk’ and restored our shine. Confession and the grace we receive revives our ability to shine in the world and give to those we encounter with joy, charity, and humility. God gave us confession and the graces that come with it because He loves us. Because He is willing to take the time to detangle, condition and shampoo. Because He knows the potential and the beauty that lies within. He loves us at our core, all we are, even in the middle of our muck!
A few years ago, I trudged to confession, bogged down by a magnitude of sin that I was utterly ashamed of. I can remember it like it was yesterday, walking in to our brand new priest, fresh out of seminary, with a lump in my throat and my head hung low. My heart knew it needed to be done, but ughhhh! The weight of it was like a heavy hiking pack! And so I began, at the top of my list that seemed pages long, forcing myself to look up at him from the white paper.
I had written it all down because I surely did not want to forget a single thing since I had finally managed to drag myself in. He politely smiled and nodded in acknowledgement as I struggled through. He could see the ugliness I was sure, and yet somehow I was not mortified. I was feeling lighter with each sin confessed, the lump in my throat shrinking, less noticeable for sure. And then I finished.
I had survived! The lump still minutely present, tears of relief and shame wagering on the surface, I was holding them back as I swallowed hard and blinked quickly and frequently. I looked up at him and he smiled a huge warm smile and I thought I heard him utter the words, “All I see here is love.”
‘What?!?!’ I screamed internally. “Could I have possibly heard him correctly? Did he just hear my confession? Did he listen?” I wondered. And he went on. This charitable priest shared that he heard me speak of love and concern for my family, a deep desire to care for and make things good for them. He said much more than that, but my mind became a blur because I was overtaken with His love, the Father’s love, Christ’s love through that sweet priest.
In the end, he assured me that I was on the right path and a remarkable woman, bursting with Christ’s love. He handed me a very minimal penance to match my ‘confession of love’, I suppose. I will never forget bursting at the seams with love and crying as I exited that confessional. I was assured of Christ’s complete forgiveness of my sins and His unconditional love for my poor soul.
As I neared my daughter, who was waiting outside to go in next, I leaned in to whisper to her, ‘It’s your turn.” After she was finished, as she exited, I leaned to her again and uttered through a teary smile, ‘Wasn’t it like talking with Christ himself.’ And she smiled a knowing smile and beamed, ‘Yes. It was! It was the best confession ever!’
Even if it has been neglected for quite some time and the task seems daunting, Jesus is always there waiting for you, ready to cleanse and deeply condition your soul. Take the step. Go to confession. I am praying for courage for you, sister, and open-mindedness as you do what needs to be done.
“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest, says the Lord.” Matthew 11:28.
Call to Act: I encourage you sisters, to make the time to sit down and complete a thorough examination of conscience, look deep. There are plenty out there, search a few and find one you like. Print one, or a few, out and spend some time with it in prayer and quiet, or even in the Adoration Chapel. It is worth the time to ‘detangle’. Seek a priest for confession, no matter how long it has been since your last trip to the confessional. Allow Jesus to act through the priest and wash away the muck, the ugly sin, holding you back. Your soul will be uplifted and your heart will be filled with grace and His love. Allow Him to fill you up and condition your soul. He will be thrilled that you came to Him!
If you feel like you need a little direction, check out this brief article on the basics of confession, along with a free downloadable Examination of Conscience. It’s a great place to start!
Saint Mary of Egypt, please pray for us that we are inspired by your wondrous example of repentance. Ask Our Lord that we are recognize His all-powerful, saving and forgiving grace. Open our hearts to conversion and the need for repentance. Pray that we may have the courage to run to Him for forgiveness. We ask this is Jesus’ name. Amen.
Saint Mary of Egypt
Saint Mary of Egypt was a great sinner, choosing a life unpleasing to the Lord from the early age of 12. She was a prostitute, singer, and an actress, seeking to seduce men and even going as far as traveling to Jerusalem to tempt men. While on her journey there, an unseen force prevented her from entering the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. With this event, she had a great conversion, recognizing her sins and seeking forgiveness and repentance. She prayed before a statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary, determined to leave her life of prostitution and sin. After this notable effort proclaiming repentance, she was able to enter the Church. She later went to confession and received the Eucharist. Mary then was found living a life of repentance in the desert, with a tremendous devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary. She is the patron saint of penitents.
Read more about her here…
https://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=398
