Last month, my husband and I had to make the heart-retching decision to take my daughter to a residential treatment facility for substance abuse disorder. She has been battling with the disease for some time. After discerning which treatment program would best suite her needs and providing necessary information, we had been awaiting a call confirming her admittance to our top choice. Several days had passed and I was wrestling with my patience. Despite my efforts, my insides were in knots, and I was beginning to be snippy and short with my family. My powerful emotions needed a check, so left for a walk outdoors to help calm my frazzled body.
As I headed out and bustled along, I began telling Our Lord about my stresses, woes, worries, and hopes. I desired to follow Him in all my actions yet struggled to push forward. Through sobs and tears, I informed Him that I had been working diligently to trust Him, however, I had also been struggling with the unknown and where my daughter would receive the help she required. I begged Him for direction. Assuring Him that I intended to remain faithful to Him and His ways, I highlighted my overwhelm with not hearing from the agency. I told God that I was giving it to Him and would continue to hand it back again and again. Total surrender.
No exaggeration. 30 seconds later my phone rang! It was the residential treatment program. My daughter had been cleared to move forward for admission. God had taken care of my woes; He heard my cries and answered me, revealing Himself. To experience such an expedient response to my heart cries both relieved and comforted me. I felt beloved, even in the suffering.
As we have traveled with my daughter on this tumultuous journey that has felt much like battle-meets-Mr.-Toad’s-wild-ride, we have witnessed God’s steady hand. His might and tenderness have been evident as He has guided us in countless decisions to determine her care and actions to take. He has walked along side our family, keeping her safe despite treacherous decisions. Like David, I would echo, “Blessed be the Lord, for he has wondrously shown his steadfast love to me when I was in a besieged city.” Psalm 31:21.Feeling as I had found myself surrounded by enemies on all sides, I found comfort in His presence. Our Lord would make Himself known in countless small ways; a loving gesture by a friend, a barrier removed or encountering others at unexpected moments who were fighting a similar battle. I am convinced even more, through this hard time, that He exists in the world and has power over everything. “All things work for the good of those who love God, who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28. Even now, especially now, I hold fast to my faith in Him and His goodness.
Call to Act: I invite you to look for Him in the heart-retching times. Is there a space where you feel alone? Reach for God, cry out to Him from the depths of your being, ask Our Lord to reveal Himself. I assure you sister; He is there in the yuck. Despite the hard, God is present. Let Him bring you near to Him and hold you tenderly. I am certainly closer to Our Heavenly Father than I was before this fury was unleashed in our lives. I encourage you to live in confidence that each moment is according to His plan and can bring forth virtue and goodness. Continue to turn to Him even though life is not going as you feel it ought. My prayers are with you sister as you navigate your turmoil, uneasiness and affairs. I pray you find rest in Him.
Saints Maximiliian Kolbe, Joan of Arc, Francis Xavier Cabrini, and Junipero Serra, pray for us that our faith remains strong as we face barriers and battles in our lives. Beg the Lord to instill a deep trust in our hearts, allowing us to surrender completely to Him and His will. Invoke the Holy Spirit to allow us to continue the work He has started in us. Beseech the Master to give us the courage to repeat our ‘yes’ daily, as we serve Him in this sin-filled world. We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Savior. Amen.
