My husband watches television with my kids, not only movies, but sports, history, cooking shows, you name it, they watch it. For years this has pushed a button in me. My mind would scream, ‘You aren’t doing this bonding thing right.’ I would get irritated and think, ‘Why don’t you take the kids to the zoo, or a museum, or even simply a park and engage with them? Leave this house! Be together and shun electronics! Explore!’
It was so bad that I often would not ask him to entertain them for fear my husband would ‘watch something’ with them. And then, fairly recently, I realized something staggering…Watching television is how he bonds! My beloved husband would sit with his dad taking in the shows and sports and now he has the joy of sharing this past time with our children. And, yes, it really is a past time.
If you come to my house when my family is nestled down in our basement in front of the large boob tube you will often times find a huge bowl of popcorn in each lap. You will hear laughter and chatter and conversations about life and dreams. This will followed by audible sighs of disappointment when the ‘bonding’ TV time is over. My kids look forward to this time together, as my husband relaxes completely while ‘watching something’.
And I’ve come to believe that this type of bonding is unobjectionable. Yes, you read correct, TV watching, vegging, gets my stamp of approval. Stick with me here. This down time is truly a balance to my ‘activity trumps’ attitude. I am on the other end of the spectrum, feeling the need to be continually in motion. I find I actually need to walk away from uncompleted tasks and physically leave my home to be able to be truly present and focus on my husband and children.
My husband on the other hand does not struggle to relax amid the chaos . He is perfectly capable of unwinding in our home with a long list of ‘to dos’. My hubby will easily set it all aside and chill with the kids or me and actually breathe easy. I, however, seem to get all revved up when things lie in front of me undone. I can only walk past the task so many times before it gets the better of me and I attack.
Upon reflection, I have come to see that these differences are at our core. The diversity is rooted in our temperaments, our upbringing and experiences, and definitely how we are created. If the world was wired entirely like either my husband or myself, priorities would end up utterly out of line. God appreciated our uniqueness when He created each of us. He had our individuality in mind when He had our paths cross in order for my husband and I to meet.
My husband stimulates my growth and I do the same for him. We offer our family a balance and actually teach our children the balance of rest and work by our example. This balance and acceptance of differences, so evident in our bonding styles, is imperative in a relationship. We definitely have to work at it and communicate well to make things work from day to day. We grow tremendously in virtue because we must bend and give to accommodate the other.
We are given these opportunities each day in the people we meet on our journeys. We must love them where they are and embrace their unique gifts, talents, and personalities. When we challenge ourselves to see things in a new light and stretch past our views to embrace the benefits and perks to doing things a different way, it allows us to grow staggeringly.
My friends teach me so much in the way of embracing each other’s diverse cores. I have one friend in particular who each time I enter her garage or home I think what a gift she has for being able to see past present clutter and embrace life. She always greets me with such cheer and the friendliest smile. Sure, she has her tough days, but she somehow manages to see past the bumps and curve balls to see God’s hand in it all.
This friend seems unphased by the busy pace of her life right now. Her children range from college down to grade school. She emits joy. This amazingly generous woman is the first to offer a helping hand and seems to always be able to see past another person’s seemingly poor choices to the light they offer to the world.
And that is what we are all striving for, right? We desire to see the good and righteous in the world. We seek to surround ourselves with the uplifting and that which is pleasing to God. When we stop and challenge ourselves to focus on the admirable and to find the one, or more positive benefits of seemingly crummy situations or challenging people, our hearts are lifted up. We see the world in a vivified way.
Where is God asking you to look a little deeper? What is He be asking you to see differently, from a changed perspective, with revived eyes?
Call to Act: Take it to prayer today. Sit down and spend some time with Our Lord asking Him to allow you to identify a key area or two that He is beckoning you to revisit with a refreshed mindset. Request a softened heart and plead that the wooden beam is removed from your eye. Ask to see past the difficulties and embrace the praiseworthy.
St. Therese’ of Lisieux, pray for us that we might be humble enough to see the little rays of light in this world. Ask Our Lord to open our eyes to the beauty that surrounds us each day, especially in those we struggle with most. Help us to see the good and pure intentions of all we meet. We ask this through Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Redeemer, Amen.
Saint Therese of Lisieux
St. Therese, also known as the Little Flower, was born in France in 1873. She is a fairly modern saint, as far as saints are concerned. She asked the Pope for permission to enter the Carmelite order herself on pilgrimage to Rome! She entered the order at the young age of 14. She is known for living her ‘little way’, trying her best to please God with all her little sacrifices through the day. Her simple ways are discussed in her published journal called “Story of a Soul.” Both of her parents are saints as well, Saints Zelie and Louis Martin. She died at the young age of 24 after a great deal of suffering. Read more about her here.
https://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=105